Five Rules for Politicians

I really shouldn't do this, but I'm going to give our county's public officials some public relations advice.

I offer these tips because I like our elected and appointed governors and it hurts me to see them stumble and fumble when they deal with media hounds. Besides, snacking on tassel loafers and sling-back pumps is unhealthy and not recommended by Dr. Atkins.

First, my credentials. Over the years, I've worked in both journalism and PR. I've counseled CEOs of Fortune 500 companies on these very matters. I even tried (well, sort of) to flog walnuts to food editors. I was fired from that job and rightfully so.

Rule No. 1: Don't lie.
You may get away with it this time, but you will get caught. Guaranteed. For instance, one elected city official recently told a reporter she knew very little about a particular issue. A week later said official conceded that she had, indeed, been talking about it with her colleagues. Can you say credibility gap?

Rule No. 2: Unless you can prove it, don't claim you were misquoted.
Of course jounralists make mistakes, but they are taking notes and photos while you try to remember your next sound bite. No one's going to believe you anyway; even your mom understands that "I was misquoted" is usually nothing more than code for "I said it but wish I hadn't."

Rule No. 3: Newspapers are supposed to tell you how to do your job. You, however, are not supposed to tell newspapers what to do.
Editors have been really, really touchy about this one ever since that silly First Amendment thing was added to the Constitution a couple of centuries ago. Some people still don't get it, though. A high-ranking municipal employee recently called to complain about the transfer of a reporter he didn't want transferred. After a nanosecond's consideration, it was decided the city official wouldn't gaze upon that reporter's bright and shining face anytime before the next millenium.

Rule No. 4: Unless your name is Richard M. Nixon, editors and reporters are not out to "get" you.
Sure, your inability to give up your loafer-munching will be reported in full. But so will your brilliant solution to a long-standing community problem. And even if your name is Richard M. Nixon, we will feel obliged to note your achievements as well as your less-than-savory activities when you board your helicopter and fly off into history. Could we be more fair? I don't think so.

Rule No. 5: Don't believe your own PR. (This is the one almost everyone forgets.)
Keep in mind that sometimes your face appears in the newspaper for absolutely no other reason that it's a slow news day. Never forget that the dent in the seat of your nice leather chair was made by someone else. And, given term limits and a fickle electorate, remember that someone else will be propping their spit-shined snacks on your desk sooner rather than later.

Copyright 2004, ANG Newspapers. Reprinted with permission.