I will refuse to accept an Academy Award nomination for best actor or actress.
I will stop tipping airline pilots for really smooth landings.
I will refuse to style my hair like Justin Bieber’s even though I can.
I will share my 2012 lottery winnings with my wife because I sort of like her, not just because the law says I have to.
I will give my wife all of my 2012 lottery winnings if she says I can get a Fighting Ducks tattoo.*
* Selection of the dermal artist and the location of the tattoo will be the sole choice of this blogger. Wife will pay all costs of acquiring the tattoo. Marriage must remain intact after tattoo is completed.