Booze, Bullets and Bada Bing

Revelations that Secret Service agents might have enjoyed the favors of a more international roster of prostitutes than earlier disclosed raise important practical questions. And they involve booze and guns.

Americans tend to get all riled up over matters of morality and image and such things. In that context the notion of federal agents cavorting with hookers is worth a dark scowl. But the level of scrutiny into the sexual peccadilloes of hyper-macho guys in a testosterone-fueled profession is misplaced.

Investigators should focus on factors far more serious and relevant to the mission of the agency under fire: How much these gun-toting romeos were drinking and how late they were staying out at night.

No scientific study is needed to conclude that hangovers and exhaustion are antithetical to optimum job performance. And when the job at hand is protecting the president of the United States, it isn't too much to ask that agents exert a higher level of personal discipline than a bunch of plumbing supply salesmen at their annual convention.

It doesn't really matter whether the agents involved had front-line protection roles. Supposedly all their work is important to the mission of preventing harm to the president and other top officials. Missing a detail in a report or blowing off a boring task to nurse a hangover can carry devastating consequences.

When the Secret Service fires agents for hanging out with Colombian or Salvadorian hookers it is attempting to preserve its public image. That is far less important than determining whether the agents involved compromised their mission through their behavior.

What Spitzer Should Have Said

New York Gov. Elliot Spitzer resigned because he got caught fooling around with high-dollar prostitutes. He said something to the effect that the citizens of New York deserved better.

Just once, I'd like to hear an embarrassed public official stand up and talk straight. Maybe something like:

"It is true I visited prostitutes and on more than one occasion.

"I have been asked if I intend to resign. My answer is no and here's why:

"If every elected official who committed adultery was to resign, our state and our nation would descend into chaos. Modify "committed adultery" with the phrase "by visiting a prostitute," and things might improve some, but less than many might think. I refuse to buy into that game of moral hypocrisy.

"Instead, I will allow the constitutional and political processes to play out. If the voters attempt to recall me, I will make my case to them directly and respect their judgment. If the legislature attempts to impeach me, I will wage an aggressive battle armed with the constitution and the law.

"The only legitimately aggrieved people are my wife and daughters. Their feelings and what happens to our family because of my actions are nobody's business."

"I will say nothing more about this situation until events require."

Who's In Charge Here? George W. Bush

Mike Allen at politico.com reports President Bush is interviewing potential replacements for Alberto Gonzales, the Attorney General of the United States who placed political loyalty above his duties.

The current scandal over the firing of local federal prosecutors who displeased GOP powerhouses is the best evidence that Bush's entire tenure is based on politics and nothing else. That's because politics is the only arena in which he has ever succeeded. It doesn't matter that his advisors provided the thinking; Bush took the credit and came to believe it really was all about him.

Most Democrats and a growing number of Republicans are toting up the gruesome toll of the administration's failures and asking, "who's in charge here?"

The only possible answer is George W. Bush.