Movies That Must Be Made

Some years ago I attended a movie premiere and joked to producer Janet Yang (The Joy Luck Club; The People vs Larry Flynt; The Weight of Water) that I was likely the only person in the room who didn't have an idea for  a screenplay. 

Since then, Covid and Donald Trump persuaded me that my innate anti-authoritarian streak was to be embraced rather than suppressed. And my imagination has run rampant fueled by long hours of idleness. I would never share my ideas with Janet because her innate grace and good manners would force her to stifle a desire to flee. But I'm happy to offer one here because the three people who might read it can simply cancel me with a click.

 The Monarch and Me. This dramedy is best suited for a UK or Europeans limited cable series because it could turn into a documentary. 

A new monarch has moved into Buckingham Palace, one with a hidden agenda and a really smart lawyer. Shortly after the coronation she (I prefer a female in the role) dissolves Parliament, something entirely within her purview. She refuses to recall the lawmakers unless they call an election and pledge in a legally binding way to enact fundamental reforms such as increased healthcare spending, a fair immigration policy and stringent environmental protections. 

Of course everyone goes crazy save for the civil service, which keeps life ticking over while the politicos muck things up. With no written constitution there's no lawful way to oust a monarch and a coup is out of the question because the many factions and parties cannot agree on how to handle the aftermath. Besides, everyone in the military has sworn before god to offer their loyalty to the crown. 

The queen begins assuming more direct control of government, ruling through an advisory board - like in the old days actually. She doesn't bother with perceptions and declines to deal with what she considers the minor matters parliament once embraced so dearly. Polls start to indicate the people warming to her quick decision making and lack of pretense. The only ones in a lather are those who have lost status and power.

Other nations didn't know what to make of the initial situation. Friendlies were patronizing, assuming things would return to the old ways after the queen made her point about... whatever. Enemies primed to take full advantage of the unsettled situation until a cadre of senior UK military leaders made it abundantly clear they would tolerate no mucking about, particularly with their newly bolstered budgets. 

Eventually power-starved parliamentarians accede to the queen's demands. An election is called and a campaign run. The last scene is of the queen watching returns on televisions as news anchors excitedly report a spontaneous and almost universal voter boycott in support for the way the queen is running things. The last shot is the queen looking into the camera with a sly, knowing grin on her face.