Bill Bucy

Starvation Is Good For Your

2012-01-23T07:58:00.000-08:00

Our friends at The Economist report that living in a constant state of near-starvation will quite likely help you live longer.

How much you will enjoy your life without energy, ravaged by disease and looking like a human skeleton will undoubtedly be the subject of a subsequent story.

Note To Delinquents: Man Up Or Shut Up

2012-01-13T17:17:00.000-08:00

The California Supreme Court ruled that asking to talk to mom isn't the same as asking to talk to a lawyer.

Papermasters

The decision came in the case of a 15-year-old boy who repeatedly asked to speak to his mother while being interrogated by the cops. The kid was convicted but in his appeal argued asking for mom was pretty much the same as asking for a lawyer, which should have stopped the questioning.

The court disagreed, thereby making it clear where moms stand in the legal world.

Pizza Racism And Bad Taste In New York

2012-01-08T17:24:00.000-08:00

Minhee Cho, 24, goes into a Papa John's pizza joint on Manhattan's Upper West Side and the teen-age order taker identifies her as "lady chinky eyes" on the receipt.

Cho Tweets. The Daily News follows up. Details emerge.

The owner fires the order taker while blaming her gaffe on "hip hop culture."

The assistant manager says she hasn't seen the receipt or talked to the clerk, but is sure "they didn’t mean to offend her in any way.”

Cho says she "wasn't super-offended" but still felt a need to chastize Papa John's.

A responding Tweeter asks why she went to a Papa John's while living in the middle of New York City.

And life goes on.

Taking Accountability Too Far

2012-01-05T10:51:00.000-08:00

Bill Bucy's Resolutions -- 2012

2011-12-31T17:20:00.000-08:00

I will refuse to accept anAcademy Award nomination for best actor or actress.

I will stop tipping airlinepilots for really smooth landings.

I will refuse to style myhair like Justin Bieber’s even though I can.

I will share my 2012lottery winnings with my wife because I sort of like her, not just because thelaw says I have to.

I will give my wife allof my 2012 lottery winnings if she says I can get a Fighting Ducks tattoo.*

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* Selection of the dermalartist and the location of the tattoo will be the sole choice of this blogger.Wife will pay all costs of acquiring the tattoo. Marriage must remain intactafter tattoo is completed.

Boweled Over By Activia

2011-12-31T16:22:00.000-08:00

Until now, I found the Jamie Lee Curtis Activia Yogurt commercials rather amusing. But in the latest she urges users to keep a video journal of how Activia helped them so I am kind of freaked out about what's next.

And eager to find out.

Christopher Hitchens and Xmas

2011-12-24T19:29:00.000-08:00

Slate

An entirely appropriate time of the year to mourn perhaps the best essayist ever.

Hitchens was no weak-kneed stylist who punked and scorned simply to be noticed. Reviled, hated, never dismissed, the man wrote what he believed.

A few more genius assholes like Hitchens chronicling the world and we might get some things straightened out.

Newt Gingrich Lies To God and Me

2011-12-17T17:03:00.000-08:00

Washington Post

Newt Gingrich has on multiple occasions sworn oaths before God to uphold the Constitution of the United States of America.

That doesn't stop him from taking the decidedly unconstitutional stand that federal judges should be removed from office for rendering decisions out of step with popular opinion and forced to justify their decisions to Congress. He also favors abolishing specific courts whose opinions he doesn't like.

I figure if Newt would lie to God over and over again he wouldn't hesitate to lie to me.

U.S. Gets Shaky About the Death Penalty

2011-12-15T09:19:00.000-08:00

The Los Angeles Times tells me judges and juries sentenced just 78 people to death so far this year, a 30 percent decline from 2010. My home state of California increased San Quentin's death row population by just 10 people, a drop of about two-thirds from the previous year.

Nationwide, 43 people were executed this year, well down from the 52 people the government killed last year.

Some say the decline is due to the fact ever-practical Americans are souring on the high cost of revenge. I prefer to believe it is because we are reasonably fair-minded people honestly concerned about the likelihood that innocent people are sometimes executed.

More Jobs, More Poverty

2011-12-15T08:32:00.000-08:00

Two items snatched from today's news:

The number of people who filed unemployment claims last week dropped to the lowest level since May 2008, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

At the same time, the U.S. Census said 48 percent of all Americans either live below the poverty line or fall into the low income category. That is 148 million people living in the wealthiest nation on earth.

Seems like we have a ways to go before we can accurately use the words economy and recovery in the same context.

Good News/Bad News on Jobs

2011-12-03T10:39:00.001-08:00

U.S. unemployment declined to 8.6 percent last month, the lowest level in more than two years, according to the Labor Department. That's worth a glass of champagne for those of us (everyone) exhausted by negative economic news.

However, some economists warn we shouldn't get carried away with ourselves.

For instance, Mark Zandi, chief economist for Moody's Analytics, told Bloomberg that a major factor in the decline was a drop in workforce participation to 64 percent. Calculating in that factor, unemployment is really at about 11 percent, he said. In addition, underemployment is about 15.6 percent.

But, while the improvement seems soft, the trend is up and the experts say that reduces the chance of another plunge into recession.

That alone might be worth a second glass of champagne.

Will Voter Affection for Occupy Turn to Love?

2011-11-29T10:55:00.001-08:00

The latest Field Poll says 58 percent of California voters agree with the reasons behind the Occupy movement.

At the same time, Bloomberg News reports that banks grabbed trillions in government loans at below-market rates while telling investors they didn't need any help and then used the money to rake in $13 billion of income.

Bloomberg also reports Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson gave hedge funds and investment bankers inside information about government moves to deal with the financial crisis.

I wonder what the Field Poll results would look like if the study were to be conducted tomorrow.

Herman Gingrich and Newt Cain

2011-11-29T08:35:00.001-08:00

Now let me get this straight. . . .

Herman Cain's GOP presidential campaign is off ther rails because of alleged sexual pecadilloes. At the same time, Newt Gingrich -- whose last two wives were his girlfriends while he was married -- rises in the polls.

On second thought I think that's too much to untwist.

Underwater Mortgage Relief

2011-11-26T07:35:00.001-08:00

Does the market tell you your home is worth less than whatyou owe on your mortgage? Youmight be underwater, but you’re not necessarily drowning.

Try this calculation.

Divide your property taxes by 12 and add the result to yourmonthly mortgage payment. Then go to Craigslist or other sources and findrentals similar in size (living space only) and location to your home.

I’mwilling to bet you’re paying less right now simply for a place to live.

If you’re mortgage rate is fixed, you’re even better off. That’sbecause inflation allows you to pay down your loan with dollars that are worthless than when you closed your loan.

Property taxes will always march steadily up and to theright on charts. But given residential real estate values continue to stagnate,it’s unlikely tax increases will increase sharply anytime soon.

At the same time, landlords are sitting pretty as occupancyrates bump historic highs and few companies can afford to build new units. Irecently listened to a quarterly earnings call by a real estate company thatcrowed those two factors enabled it to grow base rents by 9.1 percent throughthe third quarter.

There are some caveats needed here. My calculation does not includein your cost the down payment that is likely out the window at this point. And,of course, maintenance and repairs are direct out-of-pocket costs for you whilea landlord factors them into base rents.

But you can at least hope that someday, somehow, your home’svalue will appreciate and you will come out ahead – however you measurethat. And in the meantime, you’llpay less “rent.”

Groupon IPO Not Working Out? Duh.

2011-11-24T09:02:00.001-08:00

Let's not go over the almost endless list of why Groupon has always had big problems. Let's just ask why the harsh litany of criticism didn't prevent investors from snapping up the company's IPO.

Perhaps the answer includes anticipated profits from flipping Groupon shares before the inevitable price crash. Maybe we didn't learn a thing from the big tech crash when companies with equally shaky balance sheets and funky business models were valued in the billions.

Or, by god, maybe we just love half-off bargains and assume that's good enough.

What Job Growth?

2011-04-02T16:54:00.000-07:00

Before everyone gets too giddy over the positive (and welcome) job growth figures, let's put them in perspective.

If jobs continue to increase at the current pace, sometime in 2014 employment will return to 2008 levels.

That would be good only if the population had stopped growing in 2008 and the number of people in the labor pool remained the same.

Therefore, moderate job growth is a positive, but it's going to take an economic tsunami to create enough jobs for real, rather than nominal, growth.

Wisdom From Fry's

2011-03-27T18:35:00.000-07:00

Overheard a guy at Fry's asking for a Geirger counter. Clerk said they didn't stock them and asked, "Wouldn't it just be better to live in ignorance and party a lot?"

If BofA Is Happy, Then I'm Happy

2011-03-08T19:34:00.000-08:00

Bank of America announced today it is arbitrarily taking off its books about $1trillion in bad mortgages and segregating them into what the financial mavens call a "bad bank."

Former Federal Reserve examiner Paul Miller told Bloomberg, "It's a way to talk about good things and ignore the bad."

The announcement was made in a conference call with -- wait for it -- investors.

My Failed Revolution

2011-02-21T18:17:00.000-08:00

Bolstered by the brave millions taking to the streets in the Middle East, I ran onto the patio and loudly demanded democracy in our household -- or at least a say in a decision now and then.

Then my wife reminded me she sometimes represents nasty guys with tattoos all over their bodies and some of them owe her money.

I remain oppressed for now, but will never give up my dream of partial, semi-freedom!

I'm Rich, I'm Rich!

2011-02-05T10:51:00.000-08:00

I just learned I won £750,000 in a BBC lottery and can get my hands on an ATM card to access $800,000. However, Western Union says I must send $5,000 to James Oborji of Benin or it will cancel my money transfer account. At the end of the day I will be left with $1,257,000 so I’m still happy.

Boy, am I glad I scan my email spam folder before emptying it,

Dark Job Outlook Restrains Negative Feelings?

2010-12-28T13:24:00.000-08:00

From Bloomberg: "Confidence among U.S. consumers unexpectedly fell in December, restrained by concern that jobs will remain scarce in 2011."

I'm not sure why any economist would be surprised at a drop in consumer confidence after reports of slow job growth.

However, I am sure the Bloomberg story says the drop in confidence was restrained by concerns about job scarcity.

That makes even less sense so I'll just go away now.

Why Tech is Boring

2010-12-23T13:56:00.000-08:00

Replica of the first transistor

Because there have been no fundamental technology breakthrough – something new – in more than a half-century, that’s why.

All the millions of words and billions of dollars lavished on what marketing types insist is “breakthrough technology” makes clear our fascination with the new, the small, the cool.

But “breakthrough?” Those nifty communicators that William Shatner and George Takei wore on their Star Trek uniforms now cost about 20 bucks at Fry’s and are called Bluetooth devices. Smart phones and other handhelds are just shrunken computers. The GPS device that keeps you from getting lost on the way to the corner grocery is a consumer version of something the military has used for decades.

All of today’s gee-whiz gear, regardless how sophisticated or how it’s used, is nothing more than an evolutionary step in the development of technologies created before push-button phones became common and consumers had to decide whether watching TV in color was worth the extra money.

While the benefits of tech innovation makes our lives better is clear. But the fact remains that there hasn’t been a basic, fundamental technology breakthrough since about 1947 when the first point contact transistor (read that semiconductor) was created. Once transistors replaced vacuum tubes, momentum accelerated in the development of computers. And that was that.

Let’s argue about it.

Yes, there is the Internet, which I believe created the most fundamental shift in human communication in history. But what is it other than a vast collaboration among computers? The first Internet connection was created in 1969 between the Stanford Research Institute and UCLA so scientists could more easily work together on U.S. Defense Department projects. It came into public use in 1992. Even today, the information that surges through the Internet still travels over old-fashioned copper telephone cables. Nothing new there.

The Web allows vast populations to easily access the power of the Internet and, therefore, drives its impact; fully 79 percent of Americans go online, according to Pew Internet, a project of the Pew Research Center. But under the hood, the Web consists of nothing more than a virtually limitless library of documents accessed using Hypertext, a computer language.

Hypertext is an offshoot of Memex, which was first described in a 1945 Atlantic Monthly article, according to the World Wide Web Consortium founded by Web pioneer Tim Berners Lee. In fact, the institute says legendary inventor Doug Engelbart created the computer mouse in the 1960s to help him work in his "oNLine Systems," which performed hypertext browisng, edited email and other duties.

From IBM

What about solar energy, that “clean tech” that we’re all so fascinated with today? Russell Ohr patented the first silicon solar cell in 1946. Enough about that.

The closest anyone has come to a basic tech breakthrough since the research of Ohr and others right after World War II is nanotechnology. That’s the ability to manipulate individual atoms to create – well, to create. Exciting, certainly. New, nope. The concept was first discussed publicly in an after-dinner talk on Dec. 29, 1959 by the renowned physicist Richard Feynman. Scientists have been moving and positioning individual atoms for more than a decade. By now, millions of people have seen the iconic photo of the IBM logo spelled out in single Xenon atoms.

The simple fact is, the whole tech world hasn’t had a really bright idea since before many of the people running it were born.

And that is why I don’t get all worked up when techies start lobbing adjectives about their companies and products. I think it’s also a good reason why VCs are scared witless about having too much money and too few legitimate companies on which to dump it.

Executions and Foot-long Cheese Dogs

2010-12-16T16:41:00.000-08:00

The death penalty is senseless and achieves nothing -- except deliver the occasional dark irony that further illustrates the absurdity of executions.

John David Duty was executed in Oklahoma today but not before he fought to block the event on grounds the state's use of pentobarbital rather than the difficult-to-obtain thiopental was risky and unsafe.

For his last meal, Duty asked the folks at the local Sonic fast food outlet for a double cheeseburger with mayonnaise, a foot-long cheese Coney dog with mustard and extra onions, cherry limeade and a banana shake. Total calories: 2,653. Total calories from fat: 1,420.

Nobody Loves Ya When You're Unemployed (And Educated)

2010-12-15T17:31:00.000-08:00

Dorothea Lange

Breakdowns of unemployment statistics make it clear the more education you have the less likely you are to be jobless. For instance, the overall unemployment rate in November was 9.8 percent. For college grads it was 5.1 percent.

Hooray for education, right? Not if you're part of that 5.1 percent.

For one thing, the numbers show the more education you have the longer you will be unemployed. Over 45, a college grad and unemployed? The only part of that description likely to change in the near term is your age.

I recently read about a woman who demonstrated with numbers how her experience made her more productive than younger workers. Her boss said she didn't care because she could hire two new college grads to cover the same amount of work and still save money. The cash register rang and the older worker was out the door.

I've talked with small business owners who would never hire someone with a college degree for a job they perceived didn't require one. They reasoned that the over-educated employee will head out the door at the first glimpse of a job that is more engaging and pays them what they think they're worth. (They might want to rethink that: 42 percent of the jobless have been out of work for more than six months.)

The last census update reported 27 percent of Americans hold a college degree. Do the math and find 4 million literate, middle-class, unemployed people who find it harder to get a job than someone with a high school degree.

Hooray for education?

Photo: Dorothea Lange

Lenny Briscoe Wouldn't Have Messed This Up

2010-12-10T17:42:00.000-08:00

CANTON -- Delvonte Tisdale "more likely than not" fell out of an airplane as it prepared to land at Boston's Logan Airport last month, Norfolk District Attorney William R. Keating said today, ending the criminal investigation into the mysterious and horrific death of the North Carolina teenager....

Milton Police Chief Richard Wells Jr. suggested to reporters last month that Tisdale appeared to be the victim of a vicious killer who not only took his life but also mutilated his body.
-- Boston Globe

Street Economics Q4 2010

2010-12-05T18:15:00.000-08:00

Dorothea Lange

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke says it could be four or five years before unemployment gets back to what we once viewed as acceptable. How are millions of unemployed people going to cope until then?

Our society isn't structured to cope with long-term unemployment at that level. Health care reform focused on broadening the availability of insurance, not how to pay for it. The unemployment insurance system is crumbling under current demand and too many lawmakers view it as welfare. It takes two W-2 wage earners to support each Social Security recipient but there are fewer people on the payroll almost every day.

When the economy crashed in the 1930s medical care was pay-to-play and if you lost your job your only hope for an income was another one. People starved to death. It's not that ugly today on a national scale because there are enough supports under the pier to prevent total collapse.

But are they adequate to handle the weight for four or five more years without some serious re-engineering?

If Leslie Nielsen Can Die...

2010-11-28T20:58:00.000-08:00

... what hope is there for the rest of us?

Thanks Caterpillar

2010-11-16T09:21:00.000-08:00

Caterpillar buys Bucyrus thereby eliminating BUCY as an NYSE symbol and improving my standing in search engines.

Now if I can just do something about that &^$#%& dentist in Auburn, Nebraska, I can own the first page of Google results for "Bill Bucy."

More Brilliant Economic Analysis

2010-08-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

Downward revision of GDP growth a strong signal of stalled recovery

Los Angeles Times, August 27

Cisco's Chambers Tells The Truth

2010-08-11T17:09:00.000-07:00

We need to get something straight about CEOs and their opinions on the U.S. economy: Their guess is no better than ours.

Most of them probably never took more than Econ 101 and 102 -- macro and micro -- and believe me those are far from the most challenging courses. I know because I got an "A" in both.

What CEOs really are talking about when they discuss the economy is how their customers plan to spend in relation to their perceptions of which way the winds will blow. So, CEOs base their opinions on what other CEOs think about what others CEOs believe and we dance in an endless spiral.

Occasionally, though, a big-time exec fesses up to the fact that's he's just guessing and I regain a smidge of confidence in how at least some companies are run. That happened today when I saw an AP interview with Cisco boss John Chambers. As he put it:

"If we were to poll [Cisco customers] I'm sure the average comes in at about 2 percent growth for the second half of the year. Doesn't mean that those customers are right, just that that's what on their mind in terms of their spending pattern. We're not making a call on the economy going down, I think the probabilities on a double dip, or whatever you want to call it, are relatively low."

Useful information offered in context and candidly. I like it.

HP Slow to Act on Hurd Greed?

2010-08-08T10:31:00.000-07:00

Whatever the case against former HP CEO Mark Hurd, it's crystal clear the company's board deserves none of the praise it's received for acting "decisively."

As writer Eric Jackson noted almost a year ago Hurd and his executive team have consistently gone to the company trough seeking such perks as reimbursement for such items as taxes paid on the money HP spent to feed their families in restaurants and and as much as $327,000 in personal use of a company jet. One exec, CIO Randy Mott, even got a 400 percent raise in 2008.

The attitude expressed by the greedy behavior reported by Jackson makes me wonder if Hurd's indiscreet spending amounted to no more than $20,000 as his defenders claim. And it makes me wonder if the seemingly thin claim of sexual harassment was used simply as an excuse to jettison a capable executive with sticky fingers.

Regardless, to say the board acted with dispatch to correct a problem is way off the mark.

Makes Sense to Me No. 423

2010-07-20T19:51:00.000-07:00

Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard's only debate with her opponent in the upcoming election was rescheduled so it wouldn't conflict with the final of the TV show MasterChef.

“People care about who the prime minister and who the government is, but people are also pretty keen about what’s on the dinner table,” said Gillard.

The debate will be televised July 25 immediately prior to the competitive cooking show.

A Manly Shave Returns

2010-07-12T15:43:00.000-07:00

Ah, blood, pain and the closest shave you can get today. Yes, the old-fashioned double-edge razor and those thin, single blades.

A bit trendy just now, but it's a legitimate antidote to the insanity of five-blade "systems" with gooey strips of chemicals glued to the edge.

I switched to a long-handled Merkur razor and Feather-brand blades a few months ago. I also dropped that foamy stuff and went with King of Shaves oil with King of Shaves gel as backup for when I really slice myself into ribbons and need a bit more separation from the edge for a few days.

Yes, it takes longer and requires more concentration, but the morning ritual with a real razor is relaxing and gives me the closest shave I've ever had.

The Wall Street Journal reports I'm not the only one swimming against the tide. One store in Manhattan says its sales of traditional shaving gear is reaching parity with the modern stuff.

Stirring Things Up in California Politics?

2010-05-22T17:28:00.000-07:00

As a voter who declines to state a party preference (DTS) I usually feel slighted during the California primary election. There are still lots of candidates in local races and ballot measures for me to decide. But I miss the plaintive tug at my sleeve offered by humble partisans seeking my love.

So, this year I requested a Republican mail-in ballot under a state law that attempts to keep us DTS types interested in voting by letting us muck about in other people's business. What fun.

Like many voters, including Republicans, I knew nothing about most of the GOP candidates other than their deep desire to be used as sacrificial lambs in the November election - at least around here. Absent knowledge, I turned to alternative decision making methodologies.

For instance, I opted for Orly Taitz over Damon Dunn in the secretary of state's race simply because I liked her name. Mike Villines got my nod for Insurance Commissioner because his opponent, Brian Fitzgerald listed his profession as "Department's Enforcement Attorney." Does anyone think the department really does that good of a job?

I asked myself whether we really needed more ex-prosecutors sitting as judges and voted for the non-DAs in all three local judicial races.

My negative mindset carried over to the governor's election. Meg Whitman's preferential treatment in IPOs when she sat on the Goldman Sachs board just didn't sit well with this morning's oatmeal so Steve Poizner got my vote. Similarly, Tom Campbell received my approval because Carly Fiorina had been "friended" by Sarah Palin and the radicals in the Tea Party.

As for the ballot measures, only Prop. 14 piqued my interest. If it's approved, the top two vote-earners in a primary race would appear on the general election ballot regardless of party affiliation. It shouldn't take more than 10 seconds of thought to realize how that system would rock California's complacent political infrastructure to its core.

And if nothing else, I'm all about stirring things up.

Soulful Miss USA Solves Middle East Crisis

2010-05-18T15:11:00.000-07:00

"We are so often described as terrorists and killers, but we Shiites love life and beauty -- and mainly the beauty of the soul, which is what is so special about Rima."

-Afifa Fakih, aunt to Rima Fakih, soulful pole dancer and the first Arab-American chosen as Miss USA

No, the UK is Not a Democracy

2010-05-11T18:43:00.000-07:00

The Brits were in a dither over who's going to run the country because they operate within a semi-feudal-anachronism rather than an honest-to-goodness democracy like ours.

Look at the facts:

The people are called "subjects" rather than "citizens" and never in their history have they been allowed to vote for their nation's leader. Instead, the head of government is selected by a handful of politicians and a hereditary monarch.

Without a vote of the people, the political party in power can swap out the head of government simply by choosing a new leader and any time it wants

There is no written constitution.

Some legislators are barred by law from voting on specific issues. Others are selected by the above-mentioned hereditary monarch and cannot be removed from office.

If the UK didn't possess nuclear weapons I might propose the U.S. invade and bring its people American-Style democracy.

Why Unemployment Will Remain High

2010-04-30T18:29:00.000-07:00

Worker productivity is at an all-time high. Off the charts.

So, as our creaky, cranky economy slogs forward, companies will stretch overtime before hiring more employees. Given their increasing experience with "contingents," companies will consider contractors, consultants and temps before hiring more employees with all the burden.

How do we make a living? We stop thinking about "job" and start thinking about "work" to seize the second option.

"Fergie Toe-Job"

2010-04-28T12:32:00.000-07:00

To me, UK daily journalism peaked on Aug. 20, 1992 when The Sun ran the above front-page headline and photo of the Duchess of York and her then-paramour, Texas rich guy John Bryan.

As reporters Robert Jobson and John Kay wrote, "This is the sensational picture of Fergie having her toes kissed that will finish her marriage for good."

I just found a copy of the original in my basement. Cool.

Three More Reasons Why Aliens Don't Visit Earth

2010-04-26T10:20:00.000-07:00

Wisconsin has adopted an official state microbe -- lactococcus lactis, a bacterium used in the creation of cheddar and Monterey Jack cheese.

A 25-year-old man was beheaded in a sacrifice to the Hindu goddess Kali during a ceremony in a remote Indian village. Most Kali worshippers nowadays substitute pumpkins for heads, officials said.

Party girl Laura Hall, 20, has become the first person banned from every pub, club and liquor store in the UK.

How the UK Stifles Innovation

2010-04-20T09:46:00.000-07:00

Paul Hutton wondered if his daughter's Barbie car might travel faster than its usual top speed of 4 mph if he added larger wheels. Unfortunately, he never found out because he was busted by Essex, England police during the the first test drive. For drunk driving.

The relative lack of threat to public safety prompted the judge to place him on probation for a year and nick him for £85 court costs rather than send him to jail. However, Hutton lost his driving privileges for three years because it was his second DUI conviction inside 10 years.

Teaching Bad Bankers A Lesson -- Sort Of

2010-01-13T13:24:00.000-08:00

"As the White House and Congress consider a host of new regulations for Wall Street, a commission studying the financial crisis harshly criticized the heads of the nation's biggest banks Wednesday for their role in the near collapse of the economy in 2008." (MarketWatch)

"Despite leading their companies into the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, 92 percent of the senior officers and directors of the 17 top recipients of federal financial bailout funds are still in their posts." (American Progress via The Week)

Street Economics 4Q 09

2009-10-16T18:32:00.000-07:00

What happened to 3Q? I pulled the covers over my head as soon as people started saying “jobless recovery” with a straight face. Rest of the year? I’ve got lots of blankets and comforters to protect me.

A consumer-driven economy relies on consumer spending which doesn't exist without income of some sort.

Got it?

Thank you.

Malibu Beach Madness

2009-09-12T17:45:00.000-07:00

See that cool house third from the left? It’s on the beach in the Malibu Colony west of LA.

Seems the owners couldn't’t make the payments because they lost all their money in the Bernie Madoff Scam and Wells Fargo Bank foreclosed.

Also seems that Wells Fargo SVP Cheronda Guyton – head of foreclosures – grabbed it as a no-cost, personal $12 million party spot. To keep her perk, she blocked efforts to show the house to potential buyers.

Wells Fargo’s a bit upset about the L.A. Times on this and it’s likely Guyton is on the fast track to unemployment.

But she could still be sleeping off hangovers to the sounds of Pacific waves if only she had connected with the right people.

You see, the people Guyton's bank kicked out had friends in the neighborhood and when they figured out what was going on, they ratted her out to the Times.

Ow. Yet, all she had to do in defense was to install some hip, young, unemployed people as house sitters. They (using her credit cards, of course) could have fronted the parties.

Nor would she have had to fend off potential buyers to maintain a westside presence. It’s the beach, she’s the head of foreclosures and the party is always on the move.

Sarah Palin? Sarah Who?

2009-08-10T09:42:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin's idiotic claim that proposed healthcare reform legislation provides for "death panels" failed to make Google's Top 100 Trends.

See ya around, baby.

Way Too Sad: Billy Mays Died from Cocaine

2009-08-07T15:02:00.000-07:00

Hyperactive pitchman Billy Mays used cocaine days before his heart attack - and it killed him, officials said Friday.

Puppies and Babies Always Win

2009-07-23T18:11:00.000-07:00

Anyone who hasn’t heard of Lilly, the five-legged puppy, is tuned into the wrong station.

Lilly now has just four legs thanks to Allyson Siegel from Charlotte, N.C., who paid $4,000 to rescue the Chihuahua-terrier mix and have the extra appendage removed.

Get out your checkbooks, though. There are rumors of lawsuits from the freak-show owner Siegel outbid.

Cheney's Freaky And Crazy But, We Dump On Him for This?

2009-07-13T19:41:00.000-07:00

WASHINGTON — Since 2001, the Central Intelligence Agency has developed plans to dispatch small teams overseas to kill senior Qaeda terrorists, according to current and former government officials.

The plans remained vague and were never carried out, the officials said, and Leon E. Panetta, the C.I.A. director, canceled the program last month.

-- New York Times

Wanna Buy An Ad? Talk to the Editor

2009-07-07T16:31:00.001-07:00

An interesting discussion is emerging at the New York-based American Society of Shitcanned Media Elites vis a vis getting the revenue end of Web or even print publishing closer to the editorial operation without tainting either.

Former gossipist Drew Grant takes the position that bloggers should seize complete control of income generation, including selling advertising. More thoughtful than my description might make her, Grant recognizes the inherent potential for corruption but remains adamant that a solution is possible.

Most commentators so far are skeptical, including Grant's putative boss, Aaron Gell, ASSME's president.

To me this is not a new issue. Editorial calendars, special issues and so on have been around forever and exist to give the sales force something against which to sell. That automatically creates tension between what you write about and what you write. So what?

Is it wrong for an editor to ensure the inclusion of a health-care story in the September issue if it will cement a multi-issue ad deal? Only in the halls of J-schools. Is it wrong for the advertiser to review and comment on the story before publication. Yes, everywhere.

The real difference between inkonpaper and Web-based communications is the difference between institutions and individuals.

An advertising 'department' can easily co-exist with editorial within a larger framework. But the blogosphere is entirely individual and boundaries between the two worlds are impossible to maintain within a single entity.

But I believe Grant will be proven right. My work, my money. How we get there is the question.

Street Economics 2Q 2009

2009-06-16T15:23:00.000-07:00

It's Revenge of the Parents Time for young people who assume they can move back in after graduation. Articles offering mom and dad advice on how to get rid of the kid are popping up all over the place.

Not so long ago I sneered at the extended adolescence of young people who assumed it was socially OK to live with the parents well into their 20s. Now, instead of emailing get-rid-of-the-kids stories to friends, I'm taking a more understanding tack.

After all, unemployment nationwide is at 9.4 percent and there are many states and regions with official jobless rates well into double figures. Also, multiple reports say a scant 20 percent of this year's grads have jobs lined up. Experienced workers are duking it out with them for entry level jobs. Even MBAs are taking hits in salaries and status.

So, at least until Q3, I will forgo eye-rolling when a young person ruefully admits to cohabitating with Mum or Da because it might not be their fault.

Besides, a bit of sympathy might get me a free drink.

California v New York - The Last Word

2009-06-03T14:27:00.000-07:00

“The quintessential thing about New York that makes it different than Silicon Valley is that people here are much more focused on the idea than the technology that is the plumbing for the idea.”

-- Media mogul Stephen Brill in The Wall Street Jounal

Translation: “New York talks a big game, but California delivers.”

I've Got A Few Questions For You, Cheney

2009-06-01T17:09:00.000-07:00

WASHINGTON - Former Vice President Dick Cheney reiterated his praise for waterboarding Al Qaeda terrorists on Monday, calling it a "well done" technique that gathered valuable information from unusually bad guys.

- New York Daily News

Beware of Portland

2009-05-11T10:04:00.000-07:00

People in Portland, Oregon are nice. They even spare the lives of pedestrians who step in front of their cars, which, of course, are traveling at or just under the speed limit.

This is really disconcerting to those of us who come from places like California or New York and are far more accustomed to viewing nice people through a veil of suspicion as in "What do they want from me?"

Among my recent discoveries in this vein were:

-- A bellman who actually seemed grateful for his tip.
-- A bus that halted when I attempted to cross a street with the right of way.
-- A man who asked if he could help with directions as I stared at a street sign.

Scary.

Whyi Brit Newspapers Aren't Dying - No. 2

2009-04-24T09:36:00.001-07:00

Amusingly Ironic Headlines

"The deadly mistake of 24-hour drinking"
-- Daily Mail

The Outer Limits of E-commerce?

2009-04-18T10:40:00.000-07:00

Bananahanger.com.

More Tough Love for Ex-Journos

2009-04-14T09:03:00.000-07:00

The fear and trembling among journos both ex- and employed is reaching seismic proportions. Take this quite real missive I received yesterday.

"I was all bummed out last week b/c apparently everyone I socialized with (when I had a job) was at the opening for Tracy Westmoreland's new bar and I was all, "Omg nobody even TOLD ME, I am that out of the loop."

There, in just 43 words and acronyms, is the fundamental issue every ex-journo must cope with beginning the second they hit the bricks: People didn't love you, baby, they loved your job.

This is a bigger blow for out-of-work media types than it is for people in other gigs. Simply calling oneself a "writer" or "editor" and being able to back it up can provide most of the basics in life, including shelter if she let's you stay over. And for free. Therefore, missing Tracy's opening has ramifications well beyond a bruised ego.

I've found the best way to deal with suddenly becoming uncool is to get cooler than you were when you were a journo. What, you think there's no one cooler than a member of the media elite?

Most of my post-biz magazine income comes from freelancing for a private eye. (Transferable skills, eh?) So whenever some patronizing editor/PR bunny/whoever from my past asks what I'm doing, I simply hand them my business card and smile.

I got invited to a party last week. How about you?

Why Brit Newspapers Aren't Dying - No. 1

2009-04-06T17:38:00.000-07:00

Better Stories

"A lapdancer has opted for the most dramatic of 'career' changes and become a nun."

- Daily Mail

Take The Bonus Omid, Please!

2009-03-26T18:36:00.000-07:00

Forbes.com notes Google sales chief Omid Kordestani turned down his $1.4 million bonus in 2008. And, according to the company, "Omid also declined to receive any equity awards in 2009.”

Bad Omid. Bad Omid.

Amigo, I understand you're a billionaire and want to make a statement about -- something. But you're returning a ton of money to a company with a market cap bigger than a lot of national economies.

Think, Omid, think.

Take the dollars, take the equity, and invest it in ways that help people survive the economic collapse. Health insurance premiums? Education? Health insurance premiums? Support for non-profits trying to help? Health insurance premiums?

And, really, it's a decent tax deduction no matter how complicated your retrun.

Are we square on this Omid? Thanks, man.

The End Of A Free Press?

2009-03-25T09:43:00.000-07:00

Let us hope the proposed Newspaper Revitalization Act never becomes law.

A seemingly well-meant attempt to prop up failing newspapers, such a law would be the beginning of the end for a free press in this country.

The legislation would allow newspapers to operate as nonprofits for educational purposes under the U.S. tax code.

They could report on all issues, including political campaigns but would be prohibited from making political endorsements. Advertising and subscription revenue would be tax exempt. Contributions to support news coverage or operations could be tax deductible.

In effect, the law would give government more than a toehold in every news paper that adopts this model. What Congress giveth, Congress can taketh away. Regardless of what anyone says, that simple fact will always be with all-too-human editors and publishers as they plan news coverage.

And if a president doesn't like what the subscribing papers say about her she can simply drop a dime on the IRS suggesting an audit of the offending publication's tax-exempt status.

Nor would this kind of help cure what's ailing newspapers: An archaic business model and declining readership.

The newspaper industry -- just like the automakers -- is paying the price for its arrogance and short-sighted attitude. Rather than prop up either one with direct or indirect subsidies, it's time to let them die off so more agile, forward-looking replacements can step in.

Bill Is Back

2009-03-08T20:11:00.000-07:00

Secret assignments, kidnappings, brainwashing. No, they cannot stop me.

I am back.

Beware.

Is Blagojevich A Synonym for Hubris?

2008-12-11T16:41:00.000-08:00

Not even close. See my price list below.

Communicating --
Reading your emails: US$1/ea. No charge for reading your responses to emails I initiate.
Telephone calls: US$1/minute when you initiate the call. US$0.50/minute when you return my calls.*

Structured Social --
Meeting you for breakfast/lunch/coffee: Mileage**; you buy.
Meeting you for drinks: Mileage; you buy.
Meeting you for dinner: Mileage; you buy the food and wine, but I will buy my cocktails.
Attending your social engagement: Mileage; US$20/hr when food*** is served, US$30/hr without food.

Unstructured Social --
Hanging out: Mileage; US$15/hr.****
Entertainment: Mileage; you buy the tickets, food and drinks. No hourly charge.

For social interactions not listed here, please call for a quote.

I DO NOT CHARGE FOR TRAVEL TIME!

-------------------

*Surcharges may apply such as US$0.10/min for listening to you complain about former significant others. Complete rate card available on request.
**US$0.60/mile.
***When consumed in appropriate amounts, would constitute a meal as defined by a reasonable person.
****Not applicable to attending your social event.

Stupid Bailout Tricks: San Jose, California

2008-11-15T15:57:00.000-08:00

"San Jose Mayor Chuck Reed says he will request 2 percent — or $14 billion — of the federal government's $700 billion bailout package."
- Associated Press

Does Reed want the money to prop up essential government services -- police, fire, etc. -- that might be cut due to property- and sales-tax shortfalls? Of course not.

"Reed says the city — the nation's 10th largest — needs the money to fund the extension of rapid transit and expand the area's clean technology businesses."

You're the man, Chuck.

Let The Auto Companies Fail

2008-11-12T18:13:00.000-08:00

No bailout because it would only delay the inevitable.

The impact of that decision would rock the economy. But the industry's collapse could create a better economy in the future.

Every corporation would be forced to look beyond the next quarter and build enterprises that are sustainable in tomorrow's world. They failed to learn this when the "new economy" crashed. But the disappearance of an industry that in many ways symbolizes America globally would end the charade.

Much is written about the "ripple" effect of an automotive industry collapse. But the parts suppliers and the banks are all part of the manufacturers. Many would disappear, but those left would be forced to find new ways survive and prosper.

And the workers? The children of the people who worked in manufacturing would be forced to realize that the lifestyle afforded by unions and acquiescent companies is over and that education and mobility are essential to a decent life in the future. Their parents never understood that and that's why they suffer now.

Don't Ask Me To Write For Free

2008-11-07T10:36:00.000-08:00

I don't write for free.

I could offer a long list of reasons, but they are best expressed by Harlan Ellison, one of the most prolific and creative writers of our age.

Why Golfers Get No Respect

2008-11-06T18:29:00.000-08:00

California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger today called for a temporary 1.5-cent increase in the state sales tax to help close an $11.2 billion deficit in the state budget.

Best reaction so far:

"It is patently unfair to single out California's golfers, who already pay a fair share of taxes, and expect them to assume a disproportionate share of the revenue needed to close the state's budget deficit.

With courses suffering and golfers staying at home while the economy flounders, this is exactly the wrong time to deal a major blow to an industry that plays such an important role in California's economy."

—Bob Bouchier, executive director of the California Alliance for Golf

Sarah Palin's Next Job

2008-10-28T16:55:00.000-07:00

Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, was convicted of lying on his federal financial disclosure forms. A felony, no less.

Sarah Palin, says, "The time has come for him to step aside. Even if elected on Tuesday, Senator Stevens should step aside to allow a special election to give Alaskans a real choice of who will serve them in Congress."

You betcha Sen. Palin.

Dumb Unions - The CTA and Gay Marriage

2008-10-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

The California Teachers Association donated $1 million to fight a proposed constitutional amendment that would bar gay marriages.

"For us, it's a civil rights issue," said the association's President David Sanchez. "We don't believe people should be treated differently."

By "us," Sanchez must mean the union's hierarchy because it couldn't possibly have taken that stand on behalf of the CTA's primary constituency -- its members.

Forget the right or wrong of Prop. 8. Sanchez et. al. just made it more difficult for teachers to negotiate with dozens if not hundreds of conservative school boards statewide come contract time. Many of those boards govern districts where teachers are least supported and most underpaid.

Good for the union. Bad for the members. Classic.

Blind Boy's Pea Soup

2008-10-15T15:42:00.000-07:00

This recipe was developed by legendary bluesman Blind Boy Bill Bucy to feed his band during their tours of the Mississippi Delta. Younger brother Jive reported Blind Boy's last words were, "Please, God, don't make me eat that crap in heaven."

The Notes

8 ozs. dried peas (one package) Do not soak prior to cooking. Uh-uh.
1 celery stalk chopped
1 large carrot chopped
1 small onion chopped
1 clove of garlic peeled and whole
1 bay leaf
Dash red pepper
Dash freshly ground black pepper
Salt if you want it
Ham bone or other pig meat, such as salt pork or ham ends

The Arrangement

Place ingredients in a pot and add 8 cups of water.
After contents come to a boil, remove pig meat and set aside.
Continue boiling for 20 minutes.
Reduce heat and simmer for 2-3 hours stirring occasionally.
Cool. Yes, cool. You don't eat Blind Boy's Pea Soup right away because, like the blues, "it's gotta come from a long time back."

Refrigerate. (Couldn't take a fridge on the road back then, so Blind Boy made his girlfriend hold the pot next to her heart as they drove to the next gig.)

The Performance

The next night, chop up the pig meat, toss it in the soup pot and reheat. Best with a few Dixies and some soda crackers. Blind Boy contemporary Bo Diddley ate it with cornbread. Huh.

Street Economics Q4 - The Winners

2008-10-09T11:54:00.000-07:00

The economy smells like tuna salad left too long in the sun. But a number of people and industries will profit from the downturn.

Some of them are visible and will become icons of hatred for all us regular folks. Right now the No. 1 voodoo doll is Robert Fuld, CEO of bankrupt Lehman Brothers, who, along with a couple of cronies, was anointed with a $20 million severance package.

But there are others that not only will survive, but prosper during the big slide while folks like us count our loose change before going to the grocery store. Some of the less-obvious winners:

Brewers -- There is a direct correlation between economic health and beer sales. When times get tough, people stop buying from Mr. Curvoisier and start buying from Messrs. Busch and Miller.

The Military -- As low-end jobs disappear, military recruitment will become easier. Yes, enlistees might get shot at, but free housing, medical care, food and clothing will make the risk more acceptable.

Birth Control Makers -- The U.S. birth rate dropped 15 percent during the Great Depression.

Retail Brokerages - They charge fees when you buy. They charge fees when you sell. Some of them charge fees when you don't do anything.

The Sex Trade -- As a professional analyst would put it, "Anticipated increases in competition will exert downward pressure on pricing. However, demand will remain at historically high levels. Therefore, we believe marketing and quality of service will be the keys to success for this industry in the near- and mid-term."

Sarah Palin Is Qualified

2008-09-14T18:35:00.000-07:00

John McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running mate and that’s the only credential she needs.

No presidential candidate has ever picked his running mate based on their ability to lead the nation.

Did Kennedy select Lyndon Johnson because he felt the nation would be safe in his hands or because he needed votes from the South? Did Johnson tap Hubert Horatio Humphrey because he liked the guy’s name or because he was from the Midwest?

Did Richard Nixon choose Spiro Agnew because of the man’s intellect or was he looking to balance the ticket with an established East Coast pol?

Walter Mondale? Dan Quayle? Despite the fact Al Gore invented the Internet and was portrayed by Ryan O’Neal in a movie, even he wasn't exactly an “A” player before he was tapped.

What if McCain can’t go on and Palin steps in?

Harry Truman possessed no college degree, his only business venture went bankrupt and he had no foreign policy experience. After FDR died, Truman managed to wrap up WW II, integrate the armed forces and stare down the Soviets in the early days of the Cold War.

After JFK was murdered, Lyndon Johnson used his formidable political expertise to pass landmark voting and civil rights laws. But he utterly failed to manage the war in Vietnam and walked away from a re-election fight because of it.

Conclusion: It's a crap shoot.

Voting for a presidential candidate based on a running mate's qualifications to run the nation makes no sense -- unless you're betting the top of the ticket will die in office.

And that's macabre.

Foreign Policy Doesn't Count In Elections

2008-09-14T10:45:00.000-07:00

During the presidential primaries Barack Obama was criticized for lacking foreign policy experience. Now vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin is suffering the same attacks.

Historically, though, American voters could care less.

Only two presidents elected since 1824 could claim foreign policy experience before taking office. The first was Dwight D. Eisenhower, who commanded multinational armies in Europe during World War II. The second was George H.W. Bush, who was ambassador to the United Nations, head of the American interest office in China and CIA director.

Other than Bush, only two vice presidents in the nation’s history held foreign policy credentials prior to election. John Adams, the nation’s first vice president, negotiated the peace treaty between the fledgling United States and Great Britain. Thomas Jefferson served as secretary of state before he became the nation’s second vice president.

By nominating McCain and Obama, voters have once again declared foreign policy experience and issues of secondary importance to the other characteristics and ideas they want from a national leader. Let’s get over it and move on.

Obama And The Baby Boomers

2008-08-13T16:22:00.000-07:00

Alec MacGillis blogs at washingtonpost.com, "Not only is McCain getting walloped in the polls among under-30 voters, he is also trailing or barely breaking even among voters in their 40s, 50s and early 60s -- those who one might expect to be less open than the youngsters to Obama's charms."

That's right and the reasons are easy to figure out.

For one thing, McCain's old enough to be the father of a lot of those voters. If you're a boomer, sit back, close your eyes and think of your dad running the country.

McCain also sneers at Obama's lack of military experience. Most Baby Boomers never served in the armed forces. Voters don't like to be sneered at.

Then there's Iraq. McCain remains gung ho about that stupid and unnecessary war. Boomers in their late '50s and early '60s remember the Vietnam War as stupid and unnecessary as well as all the pain it brought personally and to the nation.

Baby Boomers also are accustomed to change -- cultural, political and social -- because they grew up in a swirling, turbulent era. Many embrace it -- after all they invented the Internet and the Web.

Most important is the fact Boomers have been through enough in their lives to realize that a President Obama isn't going to wreck the country and are willing to give him a chance to shake things up a bit.

Street Economics Q3

2008-08-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

As the depression worsened, Congress increased taxes across the board. The unintended result was decreased spending among consumers and businesses alike, and the country sank deeper still into the Great Depression.

-- Wikipedia

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger proposed during private negotiations over the weekend to close the state's $15.2-billion budget gap with a temporary but immediate one-cent hike in the state sales tax.

-- Los Angeles Times, Aug. 5, 2008

"Hair" Then and Now

2008-08-05T16:39:00.000-07:00

A New York Times story on a revival of the '60s musical “Hair” and its social context includes an interview with Gail Furman, who admittedly was contemptuous of those who fought in Vietnam. “I was very angry if people didn’t burn their draft cards,” she said.

Today, psychologist Furman counsels veterans retuning of the Middle East wars for whom “she feels sympathy and support.”

Like Furman and millions of others who grew up during the “Hair” era, my opinion of people who serve in the military has evolved. Sadly, it took us two unjust wars and 40 years to reach a conclusion we should have understood intuitively.

SF Chronicle Thinks Outside The Box - Sort Of

2008-08-03T10:13:00.000-07:00

The city and county of San Francisco plans to double the fee charged newspapers for selling their dubious wares in street-side boxes. The idea is to help pay for the installation of kiosks to replace often battered and always unsightly individual vending machines.

The San Francisco Chronicle is aghast at this attack on free speech.

As Chronicle reporter Victoria Colliver wrote yesterday:

"In an era when newspapers are under extraordinary economic pressure, this measure will result in the abandonment of news racks by many publications in many areas, adversely affecting the flow of information to the public and those involved in the distribution network," Jonathan Donnellan, counsel for Hearst Corp., which owns The Chronicle, wrote in a letter to the mayor.

The newspaper's zeal for upholding the public's right to know was somewhat less in evidence on Sept. 24, 2007 when it announced without explanation:

"The price of a seven-day home delivery subscription will increase by 30 cents to $4.75 per week effective Monday, Oct. 1, 2007. Prices will be higher in certain outlying areas." (That's 14 percent.)

The Chronicle's position is clear: Freedom of speech and an informed public are safe as long as the money involved goes into its pocket instead of someone else's.

The Creator of Rock and Roll Is Dead

2008-06-02T16:23:00.000-07:00

"Mr. Diddley always believed that he and Chuck Berry had started rock ’n’ roll, and the fact that he couldn’t financially reap all that he had sowed made him a deeply suspicious man.

“I tell musicians, ‘Don’t trust nobody but your mama,’ ” he said in an interview with Rolling Stone magazine in 2005. “And even then, look at her real good.”

-- The New York Time

Taking Risks In Life

2008-05-24T10:36:00.000-07:00

Ask most people why they cling to jobs they hate and they cite the desire for a regular paycheck and company-subsidized benefits. There's just too much risk involved in starting their own business or becoming a free agent, they argue.

Ask the same people why they invest in mutual funds rather than individual company stocks and they say they don't want to bet their economic future on the success of just one or two companies.

The contradiction inherent in those two statements explains why so many people limit their potential, both personal and financial.

Why I'm The Perfect Corporate Director

2008-05-05T18:10:00.000-07:00

Yahoo's board sheepishly followed CEO Jerry Yang's lead and voted to reject Microsoft's takeover offer. I am sure part of the directors' decision process was based on what they might lose in compensation. Fees, options, that kind of stuff.

While understandable, such personal considerations are all too prominent among so-called independent directors of publicly held companies. And they are wrong. So, I offer myself as the perfect corporate director.

What makes me perfect is my personal philosophy, best expressed by Neil McCauley, a lifetime criminal portrayed by Robert De Niro in the movie Heat.

"A guy once told me: do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner."

Who Should Take The 3 a.m. Call?

2008-05-04T17:51:00.000-07:00

"I want the Iranians to know that if I'm the president, we will attack Iran," Mrs. Clinton said. "In the next 10 years, during which they might foolishly consider launching an attack on Israel, we would be able to totally obliterate them."

Mr. Obama said: "It's not the language we need right now, and I think it's language reflective of George Bush. We have had a foreign policy of bluster and saber rattling and tough talk and in the meantime have made a series strategic decisions that have actually strengthened Iran."

- The New York Times

The Adventures of Johnny Bunko

2008-05-02T18:09:00.000-07:00

Business Book Creates Chopstick Shortage
Author Daniel Pink, expert, blame engineering subculture

SAN JOSE, Calif. – Plastic forks are rapidly replacing traditional wooden chopsticks at Chinese restaurants throughout the San Francisco Bay Area and a career advice book apparently is the reason.

The Chinese Fast Food Coalition, which represents 140,000 restaurants in the nine-county area, says customers are stealing thousands of disposable chopsticks to summon a sexy, Gen-Y genie in the book The Adventures of Johnny Bunko.

Forced to work through the night, disgruntled office worker Johnny Bunko drops into a Chinese takeout restaurant and is given six pairs of chopsticks. When he rubs a pair together, the genie appears to teach Bunko and his friends the keys to career success.

“It seems a lot of people think the genie is real and want to meet her,” says Ken Wong, EVP of the association. “She’s kind of hot, but, jeez, stealing chopsticks?”

Pink, a best-selling author (Free Agent Nation, A Whole New Mind), lecturer and business consultant says the phenomenon likely erupted in the Bay area because of the high concentration of engineers.

“A lot of engineers spend 20 hours a day focused on left-brain activities like linear logic,” Pink says. “When confronted with a right-brain challenge, such as relating what they take in to experience, they're completely lost.”

Bill Bucy, a writer and 20-year Silicon Valley resident, agrees with Pink but adds another factor.

“I’ve met hundreds of gearheads incapable of expressing ideas in a language other than code,” he says. “Bunko was created in the Japanese manga (comic book) style, which makes it more widely understandable within their subculture.”

Economists Drive AMC Gremlins

2008-04-15T16:31:00.000-07:00

"The speech also came the same morning the Labor Department reported. . . . inflation at the wholesale level soared in March at nearly triple the rate that had been expected as the costs of energy and food both climbed rapidly."
-- Associated Press

One Bad Decision Leads to Another

2008-03-29T16:14:00.000-07:00

"A 19-year-old suspect was arrested on Friday in connection with a series of highway shootings near Charlottesville, Va., that left two people with minor injuries, the state police said. . . .

"Police officers said [Slade Allen Woodson] was the owner of an orange 1974 AMC Gremlin that appears to match the one seen in a surveillance tape of the shooting at the credit union on Thursday."
-- The New York Times

Street Economics - 1Q 2008

2008-03-14T15:56:00.000-07:00

The brilliance of Street Economics is such that it doesn't have to wait until the end of the month to sum up the the U.S. economy. Learn from the facts:

Internationally, ticket vendors at the Taj Mahal refuse U.S. dollars and Bolivian banks urge customers to save in euros.

Domestically, the price of a drink at La Bodeguita del Medio in Palo Alto, Calif. is up 25 cents and a gallon of gas in the tank of its customers' Bentleys costs $4.11.

Really, is there anything else than can or should be said?

What Spitzer Should Have Said

2008-03-12T17:03:00.000-07:00

New York Gov. Elliot Spitzer resigned because he got caught fooling around with high-dollar prostitutes. He said something to the effect that the citizens of New York deserved better.

Just once, I'd like to hear an embarrassed public official stand up and talk straight. Maybe something like:

"It is true I visited prostitutes and on more than one occasion.

"I have been asked if I intend to resign. My answer is no and here's why:

"If every elected official who committed adultery was to resign, our state and our nation would descend into chaos. Modify "committed adultery" with the phrase "by visiting a prostitute," and things might improve some, but less than many might think. I refuse to buy into that game of moral hypocrisy.

"Instead, I will allow the constitutional and political processes to play out. If the voters attempt to recall me, I will make my case to them directly and respect their judgment. If the legislature attempts to impeach me, I will wage an aggressive battle armed with the constitution and the law.

"The only legitimately aggrieved people are my wife and daughters. Their feelings and what happens to our family because of my actions are nobody's business."

"I will say nothing more about this situation until events require."

Castro Resigns So Freedom Rings In Cuba!

2008-02-19T17:40:00.000-08:00

Except his brother will replace him.

Never mind.

A Fantasy Job Ad

2008-02-06T16:31:00.000-08:00

We seek a highly professional (insert job) to help take our company to the next level.

The ideal candidate will have at least 10 years of relevant experience coupled with a track record of increasing responsibility that goes beyond mere job titles. Deep management experience is a must because he or she will be responsible for building and leading a diverse team.

This position requires energy, creativity and first-rate organizational skills.

Note: Regardless of other qualifications, applicants must prove they were born on or before Jan. 1, 1968 to be considered. We do not discriminate on the basis of gender, race, ethnicity, country of origin, sexual orientation, religious beliefs or disability.

Stealing From Obama

2008-01-06T11:11:00.000-08:00

Barack Obama has offered just one thing during his run for the Democratic presidential nomination: the hope for change in the nation's political leadership.

That's pretty much all he offers at this point, but it is no small thing. He is different in many ways and his idealism seems sincere. He does not carry the baggage of years and years going along to get along.

That makes his opponents' sudden adoption of his theme so patently cynical. "Wow," they say, "that change thing of Obama's worked pretty well in Iowa, so maybe I should be for change, too."

There are legitimate reasons to vote for other candidates. But their me-too assumption of Obama's theme simply shores up his claim that he alone offers fresh leadership and new thinking.

Bad Times Ahead In 2008

2007-12-21T13:28:00.000-08:00

Based on my Sreet Economics Index, 2008 is looking as dark as Dick Cheney's soul. The evidence -- all of it true:

My house cleaner came into an inheritance but still shows up every week.
The Popov Vodka bottles at A-1 Liquor are dusty.
Panhandlers are asking for quarters again.
My eHow article "How to Prepare For Being Fired" got 82 hits in three days.
I wrote it for $15.

Forget the Illegals - Deport The New Yorkers

2007-12-19T16:47:00.000-08:00

So I'm having a quiet drink at a bar and a couple of guys from New York sit down and launch into the "you can't get a decent bagel/pizza/pastrami sandwich in California" thing, including the worn out "surfer dude" imitation.

Typical New Yorker - walks into a place full of drunks and announces, "I'm a jerk and I hate everyone here."

These same bozos headline their online personal ads "New York City Native Here." Sorry homes, you've just labeled yourself as loud, obnoxious, patronizing and dumb. Why dumb? Only other people from New York will respond so you just eliminated 99.99 percent of the California dating pool. (Almost as bad are the ones who post "East Coast Native," which translates into, "I'm as annoying as a New Yorker, but not remotely as interesting.")

Instead of deporting hard-working hotel maids trying to feed their families, the homeland security people should round up all the New Yorkers in California and drop them off on Ellis Island for redistribution.

Maybe then I could finish my organic, artichoke-infused martini in peace.

The Argument Against Steroids in Sports

2007-12-13T16:56:00.000-08:00

The Mitchell report today nuked about 80 baseball players for using steroids, human growth hormones and all that other nastiness, save for amphetamines, the "greenies" Mitchell and the MLB know virtually every player takes or took.

Flaws and all, the report makes one salient point: the use of drugs like steroids and human growth hormones gives athletes an unfair advantage over competitors who worry about testicular shrinkage or whether they might fly into a rage and murder their families.

So what's to do?

Random blood tests for an ever-expanding list of performance-enhancing substances conducted by an independent agency. If, as so often said, the majority of players don't use them, the players' union could easily vote to change its position. And if the penalties are severe enough, at least some measure of compliance with reasonable rules would result.

Absent that, how could anyone ever bet a game?

Federal Judges Fight Back

2007-12-10T13:15:00.000-08:00

The U.S. Supreme Court today took a well-aimed shot at congress' attempt to decide who should go to prison for how long.

In a 7-2 decision, the court said federal trial judges can depart from mandatory sentencing rules that require longer prison terms for bad guys who are convicted of dealing crack cocaine rather than the powder version.

In essence, the rule said a crack dealer who sold less than 2 ounces of evil must do the same time as a a different dealer who sold almost 1.5 pounds of evil. This dubious distinction has angered judges, lawyers and civil libertarians for years.

More important than the specific issue at hand is the majority decision's declaration that sentencing guidelines should be "advisory" rather than mandatory. When "advisory' is better defined based on future cases, trial judges just might be able to avoid sending nuns to prison for five years if they try to sneak across the border from Mexico.

Barry Bonds And The CIA

2007-12-07T17:44:00.000-08:00

Barry Bonds today pleaded not guilty to perjury charges stemming from his denial of using steroids and so forth during testimony before a federal Grand Jury. His plea came a day after the CIA disclosed it had destroyed tapes showing its interrogation of prisoners held at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp.

Same thing going on in both.

If Bonds goes to trial, his only defense will be that all the other witnesses are lying or misguided. During the inevitable congressional hearings, the CIA will have to persuade lawmakers and the American people it never tortured people so the destruction of the recordings was simply an oopsie.

Neither will prevail and for the same reason: an utter lack of respect for the average person's innate intelligence and common sense.

The Ultimate Xmas Present For A Guy

2007-12-03T16:40:00.000-08:00

Victorinox 1.8741

The Natural Order of Things

2007-11-27T11:36:00.000-08:00

Could humankind’s assault on the global environment represent the natural order of things?

For eons, species have taken from the world what they need to meet their perceived needs without regard to the future. Just as voracious elephants (family: elephantidae) denude wide swaths of range and then move on, homo s. sapiens similarly addresses the opportunities presented to it.

The difference between the actions of elephantidae and homo s. sapiens is the innate human ability to understand the results of its nature and actions. Using the same thinking innovation that drives the destruction of the environment, humans attempt to alter harmful behavior to extend the life of the species. That creates a direct conflict between two natural impulses.

Unfortunately, the evolution of homo s. sapiens is unbalanced. While it can alter atoms and genes – the building blocks of life itself -- the species lacks the purpose to use the knowledge for good. Releasing the inherent power of the atom was first used to kill; even using fission to create electricity results in waste products that remain dangerous to every living thing for thousands of years. The genetic manipulation of food plants can feed millions of starving people yet is uncontrollable once introduced in the natural world. In that way, homo s. sapiens is little different than homo erectus, which learned to control fire about 2 million years ago without understanding how best to use it.

Perhaps homo s. sapiens will eventually work out the details and find a balance between what is possible and what is best for its future. But it is more likely the species won’t evolve fast enough to prevent it from creating a global disaster. If so, the species will disappear and others will emerge from what is left behind. That being the natural order of things.

December News Preview

2007-11-27T09:18:00.001-08:00

Here is all the news we'll read and watch for the rest of 2007. Read the list quickly and then go to the library and check out a book.

Needy Families
Holiday Retail Sales
Top 10 Stories of 2007
Top Issues for 2008
Best of (Whatever) in 2007

Boomers and Technology

2007-09-23T16:30:00.000-07:00

I grow tired of the lazy, stale cartoon about the parent who must turn to a 5-year-old to solve a problem on a personal computer. So, let's take a look at just some of the technology created by the Baby Boomers:

Personal computers, the mouse, GUIs, DOS, Windows, Macs, RAM, ROM, LEDs, LCDs, FLASH, computerized design and animation. Not to mention wireless telephony, GPS and broadband.

Anyone heard of email? And let's not forget the Internet and the Web. (Know the name of the boomer in the photo and what he contributed to your life?)

Boomers were using solid state computer technology at work and home before some Gen Xers popped out of the womb. And Boomers set off the explosion in the tech industrial sector before Gen Xers were physically capable of spawning Gen Y.

Boomers created and have lived with digital technology for more than half their lives. Generation X benefited from the first wave of tech's popularization. Generation Y knows nothing else. And so on, and so on.

The next digital generations will get slapped like all before them. The children of Gen Y will demand an implanted wireless voice communication device because all the other kids have one -- at age five. Gen Y's grandchildren will stand wide-eyed at the fact their elders once used keyboards to input data.

Given changes in generational demographics and tech-based medicine, I might even be around to see some of that.

Cool.

Mes Vacances Françaises

2007-09-11T20:26:00.000-07:00

I'm in the elevator at the apartment building in Paris. A kid, maybe 12, jumps in and says, "Five, please."
Me: Do I look that American?
Him: Oh, yes.
Me: Would it help if I purchased some French clothes?
Him: Yes, but not today. The best stores are closed.

I grew to hate croissants.

The gay quarter in Paris is also the traditional orthodox Jewish quarter.

A 400-square-foot apartment in a decent area costs about $900K.

Some French cigarette packages warn that smoking reduces sperm count.

A dog died on the train to Giverny.

The WC in the apartment was 1 meter square.

Monet and his pals were party animals.

Baby pig prepared bain marie is flavorful yet retains its uncooked texture.

I purchased six gallons of diesel fuel for $60.

Lawyers Gone Mad

2007-09-11T19:56:00.000-07:00

I send someone an email and I get a 402-word (pre-redaction) boilerplate at the end of his out-of-office reply.
-0-

This message contains information from XXX, or from one of its affiliates, that may be confidential and privileged. If you are not an intended recipient, please refrain from any disclosure, copying, distribution or use of this information and note that such actions are prohibited. If you have received this transmission in error, please notify the sender immediately by telephone or by replying to this transmission.

This message may include indicative rate information relating to one or more products offered through XXX, or affiliated broker-dealer, XXX. Rates and yields shown are provided for informational purposes only, are not guaranteed, and are subject to market conditions and availability. Nothing in this communication shall constitute a solicitation or
recommendation to buy or sell a particular security.

XXX (sic).

Shares are offered through XXX, a registered broker-dealer and non-bank affiliate of XXX.

Investments in these products require the involvement of a licensed representative of XXX. Investment products offered through XXX are not insured by the FDIC or any other Federal Government Agency, are not deposits of or guaranteed by XXX or its affiliates, and may lose value.

Notice: The federal Equal Credit Opportunity Act prohibits creditors from discriminating against credit applicants on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, gender, marital status, age (provided the applicant has the capacity to enter into a binding contract); because all or part of the applicant’s income derives from any public assistance program; or because the applicant has in good faith exercised any right under the Consumer Credit Protection Act. The federal agency that administer compliance with this law concerning this creditor is the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco, 101 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94105.

Notice: On October 26, 2001, President Bush signed into law the USA PATRIOT Act, which was designed to help the government fight the funding of terrorism and international money laundering activities. To help the government fight the funding of terrorism and money laundering activities, federal law requires all financial institutions to obtain, verify, and record information that identifies each person who opens an account; an account includes deposit, transaction, or credit accounts. To review XXX's New Account Disclosure please visit its website at ....

Listen To The Gipper

2007-08-23T17:13:00.001-07:00

"A moment I've been dreading. George brought his ne're-do-well son around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the political one who lives in Florida. The one who hangs around here all the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40 and has never had a real job. Maybe I'll call Kinsley over at the New Republic and see if they'll hire him as a contributing editor or something. That looks like easy work.

-- Ronald Reagan in his recently published diaries, May 17, 1986.

Google Spam Wins

2007-08-14T18:20:00.000-07:00

I go to empty my Gmail spam folder and see this ad right above the delete box:

Spam Hashbrown Bake - Serves 8

I checked it out and it looks great.

Better Stuff Sold At Better Prices

2007-08-01T14:42:00.000-07:00

DETROIT, Aug. 1 — Detroit auto companies lost their leadership of the American car market for the first time ever in July, when import nameplates outsold the three American companies in a dismal month for auto sales.
-- New York Times